Latest Tweets:

April 6 2014

Dizzy

  • JP: Sometimes I get dizzy when I get up too fast.
  • Kevin: Why do you think that is?
  • JP: I don't know. Because I'm tall, you know like giraffes.

December 20 2013

"I get plenty of sex… on Tumblr…"

Jay C.

December 12 2013

Violent Rim Jobs

  • Friend: Holy God. He gives VIOLENT rim jobs.
  • Justin: What? Like... Angry ones?
  • Friend: You'd think my butt killed his mom or something.

December 7 2013

l-o-a-e-m-a-n-e n.

a person without professional or specialized knowledge in a particular subject.
“the book seems well suited to the interested l-o-a-e-m-a-n-e”

December 6 2013

"So I went to talk to the only 3 girls here. Like a safety net u know? But they weren’t interested in talking. #rejectedbyhags"

Matt P

"At a party where I’m meeting everyone for the 4th time, but they’re apparently meeting me for the first time. #wehobitches"

Matt P

"I’ve lost my jacket,
I’ve lost my sunglasses,
What’s next?
My virginity?"

Chris P

November 30 2013

"Couldn’t he just buy a larger Porsche? The survivability in a larger profile car is higher."

Jay C.

November 28 2013

*1
"So cinematic." - Chris P.

"So cinematic." - Chris P.

November 23 2013

"All of the Jahova’s Witnesses always have really good beards, and good doodles."

Ron W.

September 29 2013

"He’s not a stoner! He’s just narcissistic!"

Chris P.

September 2 2013

"I want mayonnaise in my buns."

Overheard on the streets of weho.

August 18 2013

"

::five gay guys walk by wearing matching tank tops that say “Whore” and “Slut” on them::

Guy: Yes we’re wearing tank tops. You don’t have to stare.

Me: So you color-coordinated and wrote on your tanks so people WOULDN’T stop to read and look at them? I guess that makes sense.

"

Justin L. 

July 6 2013

*1

Drinks

  • Jamison: This is the strongest Midori Sour I've ever had.
  • Me: it's a whiskey and soda.
  • Jamison: Oh!

June 21 2013

Conservative

  • Jay: I'm a conservative.
  • Alex: you are not a conservative...
  • Jay: I conserve things!